Part of the Life

Living in a rolling house has many perks. But it has a few pitfalls as well. We love our wandering lifestyle, so we accept the pitfalls as part of the life.

The biggest pitfall we encounter is that every small creature that lives outside wants to share the comfort of our cozy abode. Honestly, I guess I don’t really blame them. As much as I enjoy the great outdoors, I appreciate some respite from the summer heat and the winter chill. And who would want to live hunkered down in the dirt when a rolling mansion parks itself just steps away from your rustic, simple home.

And thus, we have picked up a variety of hitchhikers over the last few years of our journey. Last winter, we had mice. They moved in silently in the middle of the night, went undetected all winter long, and moved out (thankfully) in the spring before we could catch them and give them new homes in mouse heaven! But they did leave us quite a mess to clean up. They had one heck of a mouse party at our expense.

Another nuisance creature we have encountered on our journeys is the Asian Lady Beetle. They look like Lady Bugs, but they are not LADIES! They are as prolific as mice and just as hard to eliminate. Asian Beetles can bite. If one of them is terminated by blunt force, it will emit a foul-smelling stench and leave a nasty, yellow-colored staining “chalk line” around its flattened dead corpse. These little beetle bugs will not move out independently. They don’t mind living outside during the summer because they like living off the land, consuming bugs and such stuff. But they hate cold weather! This fall, we have seen them swarm outside our motorcoach, frantically searching for any small crevice to infiltrate our warm cozy abode. We have exterminated about twenty to thirty of these nasty little buggers a day for the last two weeks.  

Somebody once told me that a vacuum cleaner is an excellent way to execute said miserable little varmints. However, we do not own a real vacuum cleaner, so that method would not and will not work for us. And we learned early on that squishing them produced the aforementioned ill effects. So, we have developed a unique, effective method of dealing with our sticky little friends. We use a bug catcher.

Our bug catcher is a safe, chemical-free way to rid our RV of these pesky critters. To create the bug trap, we use a disposable empty water bottle filled with approximately two inches of honey. Then we invite our little friends to explore the depths of their final resting place by encircling the tiny bodies, one at a time, with the rim of the water bottle. They are usually very eager to comply with our wishes; one by one, they become hopelessly trapped in the lake of honey at the bottom of the bottle. When we feel the trap is sufficiently full, we simply throw it away and if necessary, create another trap. 

In the fall of the year, we notice that another unwelcomed little guest arrives simultaneously with the Asian beetles. Our little friend, the stink bug! Fortunately, we have found that our bug trap works equally as well for these major stinkers!

Another swarmer we occasionally encounter is gnats! They are drawn to the light inside our inviting home, and we have found them to be particularly fond of alcohol. They love wine and beer! Therefore, we have discovered that if we provide the party, they will swim to their demise in a happy little drunken state! All it usually takes, to do the trick, is a little bowl of brew placed near a warm, comfy light source.

The rarest critter we have encountered thus far on our journeys is a tree frog who decided to take residence in our bathroom shower. How the little hopper got in the shower is a real mystery indeed. Thankfully, we have not encountered any rats, squirrels, or (God forbid) skunks!

While living in a rolling home, we have also learned that we are very similar to turtles! We carry our homes with us and travel slower than others we may encounter on the road. The turtle cannot outrun or even keep up with the hare, and we cannot keep up with other vehicles on the road, let alone outrun them. We plod along at a comfortable 65 miles an hour while being passed left and right by others cruising at 70+ miles per hour. If google navigator says our destination is six hours away, we add an additional two hours for good measure. Seldom do we travel more than 350 miles in one day.

Unlike the turtle, our house requires lots of expensive food. It eats gasoline to the tune of six miles per gallon. In an average day of 350 miles, our wonderful little home will consume 58 gallons of petroleum. Calculated at a modest $3.09 a gallon, that equates to $179.22 (a day) of food for our little home.

Also, unlike the turtle, our little house rocks and rolls while on the road. If our motorhome enjoyed listening to music, heavy metal would probably be its chosen genre. The rougher the road, the more we bounce and jostle side to side. Sometimes, we bounce so hard that a cabinet door will pop open, and something will tumble out, crashing to its untimely death. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, my husband and I will simultaneously glance at each other and shout to the cosmos, “WHAT THE HECK!” Then, I will quietly unbuckle my seat belt, survey the damage, grab the broom and sweep up the mess. No big deal because it’s all part of the life.

Happy Trails, ya’ll!