We Won’t be Late

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We are late for everything! Our Saturday morning goal was to get everyone up, dressed, and out the door for a Saturday adventure. Maybe I should rephrase that- My Saturday morning goal was to get everyone up, dressed and out the door for a Saturday morning adventure.

The day started out ok. My hubby, Lucy our Labradoodle, and I slept in until 7 a.m. I stumbled, out of bed, to find the four grandkids up and quietly playing on a variety of electronic devices. I grabbed coffee and settled in to a wonderful, half-comatose state, on the living room sofa. After many occasional sips of hot coffee, I announced it was finally time to turn off all electronic devices and get the day rolling.

As I struggled to pull my sleepy, uncooperative, body from the snugly couch, I noticed that all electronic devices were still in the full-on position, captivating their viewers into hypnotic state. I once again announced, “Turn off the computers, TV’s and Tablets! We are meeting your cousins at the dog park in one hour.” Still hypnotized, my request was met with a lot of, “Oooo-Kaaaaaaaay!!” and “I just need five more minutes!” Ten minutes later, all electronic were off and a breakfast of cereal and toast was underway. The time was now 8:15. I announced, with the finesse of Paul Revere, “8:15! We are leaving the house in 45 minutes!” I might as well have said “Let the mayhem begin!” Because that is exactly what happened. I gobbled down my own breakfast and raced to get a shower, get dressed, and pack us for the day. Meanwhile, while I was barking orders, like an Army Drill Sergeant, the four kids were leisurely eating cereal.

After, I returned from my mad-dash morning ritual, two of the four children had managed to dress, and they were once again settled in, and playing games on the tablet. “Get dressed!” I barked at the two loafers, and “Did you brush your teeth?” I questioned the other two.

Meanwhile, the dog is getting wound up because of all the drama and excitement I am causing. “It’s 8:30!” I announce. “We are leaving in thirty minutes! You need to pack a snack and water!” I announced to the wind. I grabbed towels, bathing suits, dog toys, a leash and a harness. At this point, the dog started to bark non-stop, because she had figured out she was going somewhere. I yelled above the torrent of non stop barking, “Teeth! Hair! Water! Snack! We are leaving in ten minutes!” Uh..water, I thought. I don’t have water for me or the dog. I ran to get my water and a leash for the dog. “It’s time to go,” I said. At this point, the children, who had been doing everything but getting ready, are now running through the house gathering everything they might need for the day. Now, the dog is not only barking, but also chasing the children around the house, (nipping at their hands, clothes, or anything else she can grab), because this is a great game of chase! “Playtime!” the dog thinks. I yell above all the commotion, “Everyone, in the car!” I grab and leash the dog, who excitedly wags her whole body. I call the four children as I head for the door. One child responds. I load the dog into the front seat and the ready child into the back. I then run back into the house to corral the remaining three. One is ready, so I shoo him out the door. Two are still looking for God knows what. I once again announce, “It’s time to go!” “W-A-I-T!”, they say. “Really???” I respond.

Finally, we are on the road, with ten minutes to spare. Did I say we needed to be out the door by 9? Well, I really meant 9:15! We won’t be late!

**The events in this story may have been changed to protect the innocent.

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